The arts, the aesthetics, the message.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010 @ 9:13 AM
As many people know, I am pretty much a hardcore, full on Gaga enthusiast. Believe me, I have my reasons.. and I believe that anyone, possibly anyone who will take the time and hear me out, will agree with me as to why I honor this woman as much as I do. I just watched an interview, and I have learned so much from each 10 minute interval.
I remember being worried about who I was as an artist. I was afraid that I had the skill of my hands to create and to replicate or in other words, draw or paint. But I kept denying myself the true label as an artist. There is so much weight onto that word that I would imagine I could never live up to. The fact that Gaga is upholding this as her title all the more makes me rethink my position. I was just someone who could do something with her hands, but nothing more. I was afraid that I could create this.. piece of art, but then I wouldn’t be able to express it any further than what’s visually given. That is a limit. A wall. And that’s the problem. Art is limitless, there are no boundaries, no ends, no guidelines. I feel like, to be able to properly extend my visual piece to the right level, to be able to show it to the world and then explain the deeper meaning of it, you need to actually understand the history of art. You do need knowledge, you do need education. It is very important to know your references, and to understand your inspiration. It adds value to your work and gives credit respectably. Gaga’s numerous references to Warhol, to Bowie, Elton John, and to numerous other legends and great people.. those are apart of her as well. She took the time to study them, learn their philosophy, take everything they say and do, how they think, to heart. Just like she says, you have to make love to a record. Roll around in bed with it, pillowtalk.. take the time to connect with it spiritually to really understand the message. I realized she’s so great because of her vast knowledge and intelligence on other artists. She basically carries all the philosophy she’s learned and resurrected many things that we thought were lost. She makes me feel like an amateur, which I am.. but I will not deny myself of what I am any longer. I was afraid because I didn’t have that many references. I don’t know much about the classic legends.. Elton John, the Beatles, Elvis, Michael Jackson. I only know what’s on the surface, but never have I taken the time to dissect from beginning to end, the lives of these phenomenal people. I was worried. How can I grow, how can I call myself an artist if I don’t know of these people? And to be even more self-scrutinizing, why haven’t I even taken interest on any specific visual artist? But you know, I’ve realized something very quickly after thinking about this. I have done exactly what I just mentioned. I have taken the time to learn about Gaga, her story from beginning to current, everything that there is to know, that she offers to us - and I have embraced it and incorporated her message into mine. I’ve taken a giant leap and a giant risk with my time, and I couldn’t be happier with what I have now. I listen to what she says, and I listen to it over and over again until I 100% understand what she is saying. I take her philosophy, and then it becomes something that I try to carry on into my daily life. I am learning, and she is my reference and my inspiration. I truly have connected with this artist on a more than surface level. I have made love to the arts. It all began when my curiosity reached a level where I knew there was something more to someone than what the media portrayed. I learned about Lady Gaga not because tabloids or gossip sites kept tabs on her so often, not because I just happened to be listening to a song of hers or because of a music video.. I just wanted to. I sat down one day, and I just thought about who this ‘Lady Gaga’ woman really was. So much hype, and yet - I just didn’t understand it at all. Sure, I had a few songs of hers on my ipod, not a big deal. But why is it that when someone speaks of her name, my thoughts would go blank? To me, she had no personality, no soul. I had never knew anything about her. I knew some songs, but I did not know her. I couldn’t even imagine her talking, or what she’d say. I was just so flatly clueless, but I was fascinated by the mysteriousness of it all. As an artist, she did well on protecting her aesthetic and her message. She has hidden it from the people that do not want to know or that don’t care, but to the people that will take the time to learn and breathe like she has done in the past, she will offer you more knowledge than you have ever expected. It’s quite amazing. All of it.
I also worried that I would end up talking the talk, but never walking the walk. All this, and when it comes down to it, I still end up pointing to the same couple of pieces I did a year ago. Nothing new. But you know, I will value every minute that I am not creating, because I am growing. I am not being unproductive, I am not being lazy. I am simply doing what I think Gaga did best, learning.
-S.
Sunday, May 30, 2010 @ 3:54 PM
Two days left of school, and summer is here. Although I've been looking forward to summer for quite a while, the ending of this school year is bittersweet. The seniors are graduating on Friday, and I've grown close to many of them. Going to school without them will be hard, they've made my high school years great. Being upperclassmen next year will be different, and yet another step closer to college. It's really hard to believe I'll be going to college in two years. This year was a great one, but it really hit me hard. I've learned a lot of lessons this year, and have been tested to the most of my ability. I have my whole future planned out for me, but my biggest fear is that I won't achieve everything I've dreamed of.
Even with this growing fear, I've realized my life doesn't have much to complain about. I know who my true friends are, and I hope we'll be friends forever. I'm halfway done with high school, and these past two years will be ones I'll never forget. I've accomplished a lot, but it's not enough. I know I can get a lot more done before I graduate, and I'm planning on making these an amazing two years.
For now, I'm just looking forward to a great summer. It's going to be very busy, but I'm hoping it won't go by too fast. An unforgettable summer is what I'm wishing for.
-A.
Monday, May 24, 2010 @ 10:40 PM
How many times will the clock go around?
How many times can my head hit the ground?
How many coffins before there's a crown?
How far will I fall 'till the alarm sounds?
Give me a second go. Don't let me go alone.
You saw me at the worst. You caught me falling first. -lights.
8 more days of school.
SUMMER '10.
-S.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010 @ 11:58 PM
For the past couple of days I've been at a loss of words, unable to explain the irrevocable feelings that have been causing me to burst into tears. I haven't been myself. A multitude of various events have triggered my emotions, leading me to nitpick every aspect of my life. Honestly, I'm breaking down.
To make matters worse, school is as hectic as ever. The schoolwork seems to be piling up, and I can't fully concentrate. An essay I wrote late last night allowed me to dig deep into the cause of my building stress. I am somewhat of a perfectionist. Below are parts of my essay I've picked out to better explain.
"As a perfectionist, I am prone to procrastination. The two seem to go hand in hand. The fear of failure and constant worrying seem to dwindle the few hours available each day, leaving my work to be done at night."
"Lately, I've begun to realize I am not easily satisfied, and find myself sacrificing many things."
"My way of life can be seen as a vicious cycle."
"With this mindset, I am constantly in battle with myself. I am my own worst enemy, unable to defeat the unconquerable battle. My battle will never be won, for perfection can never be achieved. Some might wonder why I should work towards something that cannot be physically obtained. I myself wonder, but instead choose to look beyond doubt. With my idea of perfection comes success and happiness, leaving no room for failure. Although no one is perfect, I can try to be."
At the moment I am stuck in this strange mood, unable to get past it. Soon I will overcome it and be back to myself, it's just a matter of time. I have the best mother, brother, and best friend anyone could ask for. They have helped me through the last couple of days, and I don't know how I'll ever thank them. As I work towards perfection, and stumble along the way, they'll be there to pick me back up. I'll be okay.
-A.
Thursday, April 15, 2010 @ 11:01 PM
There's been a lot on my mind, but I'm just not able to put it all into words..
To say the least, I have been thinking lately.. About strength. Strength and character.
To distinguish a being from good or bad is strongly determined by their character.
What good is success without respect?
To have a tarnished reputation is truly not worthy of any self-satisfaction or praise.
Strength is only gained through intelligence. Intelligence, only from those with strength.I believe there are people out there worthy of this praise. Wise and kindhearted, whose intentions are none other than true, who think of loved ones before themselves, who are worthy of the strongest trust.. Someone with limitless power from the mind and soul, extraordinary beauty, flawless movements..
I am but human. I have those that I respect and admire, those that I love, those that I share enmity with, those that I am untrue with, and few that I would die for. If I can even get a step closer to becoming a better person, I'll take it no matter the hardships. I'm learning to forgive myself, and the sooner I understand my past wrongs, the sooner I can move forward.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Summer, where are you? Please come.
Summer, where are you? Please come.
-S.
Monday, April 5, 2010 @ 9:57 PM
I think I'm finally getting into the groove of things. I'm realizing what should be a priority, and that my old ways were a bit abnormal. Not only am I speaking of my sleeping habits, but also of my laziness and procrastination. I'm eager to see if my new revelation will pay off. Better now than never. Next year will probably be one of the hardest years of my life, so I'd like to end this year with a bang and be prepared. The image of summer is so appealing, sometimes clouding my thoughts. Also, I've discovered my old love of reading. Nicholas Sparks has become my new favorite author. His novels take me to a place where nothing else in the world matters. I feel as if I feel everything the characters are feeling. It's a great feeling, and sometimes I wish I could just read all day. Just a couple more months and I'll be able to relax. Just a couple more months.
-A.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010 @ 8:44 PM
Sleep has been unavoidable these past few days.
I never thought I'd be saying this, but I haven't been deprived the past week.
It's not like I haven't tried staying up late and planning all-nighters.
Yet somehow, I always end up in the same spot - opening my eyes to realize that daylight has struck again, and the hours have passed.
I haven't been able to make it past 1am all week. Always dozing off before that, or head ends up on the textbook again.
Maybe my body has finally caught up with what's right. The internal clock has shifted again, this time, matching with daylight and darkness. I don't know. Not used to it, but maybe I should adjust to it rather than revert to my old ways.
School's been hectic from the return of Spring Break. I'm almost done with all the make-up work and tests, so it should all be over with soon. It's probably too early to start looking forward towards Summer Break. Not yet, it's better to live in a present state-of-mind.
-S.
